Why Me? Why Not Me?

I titled this blog entry back in May 2015, but never came back to it. Maybe today is a good day to work on it.

I play on a number of sites where people post questions and thoughts and I am often struck by the “woe is me” attitude. It doesn’t come just from people afflicted with an illness or who have lost someone to disease or tragedy. It comes from people who strain a muscle and have to recuperate or have a dog who can’t run agility or who just don’t think life is fair to them for any number of reasons. Why me? Why me?

Bad things happen to good people … and good things happen to bad people. That’s how life is. Our reaction to them is what makes us different.

So … I ask, “Why me?” Why did I have to get lung cancer when I was the happiest, most active, and healthiest of my life??? What’s fair about that?

There’s nothing fair about life. It just is what it is. We all have our trials and tribulations. And, when we are going through them, they seem huge to us. Even if they don’t seem so big to others.

I find myself mostly asking, when I even bother to think about it, is not “why me?” but, “why NOT me?” Or, “if not me, then who?” Would I wish some horrible tragedy to befall someone else to spare myself? If it worked that way. Which, of course, it does not. But, if it did. I have to tell you that if God had come to me and said, “Either you or someone of your choosing is going to fight lung cancer. Choose who.” I would choose me. I could never wish it on someone else. Not even a someone I am not fond of.

So, why not me?

My mother was very proud that I was asked to go to Washington to speak. She told all of her friends about it. They couldn’t understand why me. They all know people with cancer. And those people weren’t asked to go.

So, why me? I questioned that myself. It really was an exceptional opportunity,  so why me?? There are hundreds of thousands of others who could have been asked. Many would have been a better choice: younger, prettier, more vivacious, better speaker… Why me?

I am certain I am not the only person to wonder!!

But, does the question not also beg of itself, “why not me?” Am I less deserving because I am old, ugly, and not a public speaker? Does that make my story worthless?

So, why not me?

There you have it!! The question works both ways … good and bad, bad and good.

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